I’ve just spent a  great day with a friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years, thanks to re-connecting on Facebook. A few years ago, the same thing happened when someone I knew in America appeared online, and I’d lost his contact information a decade earlier.

That wouldn’t have happened when I was a teenager, or at least would have been a far rarer occurrence. Especially when it comes to staying connected with friends in other countries and continents.

That’s the good side of social media which stands out. The flip side is the fact it potentially enables obsessive stalking, social engineering and risks to child safety, which should be handled objectively and shouldn’t be ignored.

But there’s another aspect to social media I’ve been thinking about.

 

Social Media means you can’t ‘lose’ people

There are a huge number of people I’m very grateful to have in my life. Some are close family and friends, some are former colleagues, and some are people I’ve encountered over the years who are just brilliant in one or more ways, whether that’s because they’re talented, intelligent, entertaining, kind, or fun to hang out with when we get a rare chance to connect. And social media has enabled me to keep in touch with them whether they’re in the same country or continent, enabling a kind of ‘ambient closeness’ which means I might not see them for years, but can still share the fact they’re now married, have kids, liked the same movies etc.

At the same time, it means theoretically it’s almost impossible to lose touch with people.

Unless it’s on purpose.

And you’ll both know it’s on purpose.

• So do you accept that Friend Request from the person you barely knew years ago at school or at work?
• Do you create a list for adding people you have no particular interest in connecting or reconnecting with?
• And what happens when you disagree with something intrinsic to someone’s character? If they’re racist, for example?
•  What about former wives, partners and boyfriends/girlfriends? Do you accept a friend request from an ex?

 

Should we be accumulating everyone we’ve ever known, or is it becoming socially acceptable to filter and even cull people we no longer have a desire to socialise with? And how does being removed by people affect us, particularly when it’s someone we might have felt we were close to?